The self-love shifts have changed my life. The first shift that really, really changed my life, and it sounds so simple, but it’s a huge one, is I began to listen to my heart. I began to listen to that inner voice and that intuition, because my entire life, I lived my life listening to what other people told me to do.
I listened to what my parents told me to do, what my teachers and society and peers were suggesting to me to do. I never felt confident in myself and my own voice. Anytime I had to make a decision, I would ask everyone around me for what they thought and I would value their opinions over my own.
So what really changed in my life in my early thirties, as I started to realize, I can’t live my life listening to other people. I have to listen to this voice within because deep down, I truly know what feels right and what’s best for me.
Listening to your heart, listening to that inner voice, is the most powerful guide you have because that is going to lead you to where you’re meant to go in life. If you listen to other people, if you live your life trying to impress other people or get other people’s approval, you’re just going to be led astray and you’re not going to feel happy and fulfilled.
The second shift that changed my life is I started to discover and nurture my own gifts, strengths, and talents. I felt like I didn’t really know myself that well before I was in my early twenties. I just kind of went about life and some things I might’ve been good at, like writing, but I never really took the time to really understand myself and reflect and recognize what I’m good at.
What personality quirks do I have? Why do people like being around me? I didn’t recognize the talents and the gifts that I had, and when I didn’t know what I was meant to do in life, that’s what I really had to search to figure out
who I am,
what I’m good at,
what I love to do.
And that journey in just exploring all these different things that I was curious about or interested in, that journey led me to really understand myself, where my strengths lie. And once you understand where your strengths and gifts and talents lie, that’s kind of like your toolkit. That’s what you use to create your dream life because that is your best chance to create value in the world, meaning it’s your best chance for maybe a career path or a life path.
It’s your best chance to feeling fulfilled along the way, because you feel happy and fulfilled when you’re doing things that you’re good at and things that you love doing. So if you don’t know what those are for you yet, that’s totally okay.
I simply suggest you go out and find it, to have the courage to go out and explore, try new things, figure out what you’re good at. Maybe ask the people around you what’s unique about you.
What are your strengths?
What do they think you have about you that is special, that is different from others?
Because we all have things that make us unique and knowing that is our power.The third self love shift that changed my life for real is being gentle on myself,learning not to be so hard on myself,because I was a person that always put such high expectations and pressures on myself –obviously a trickle-down from the expectations my parents put on me, but it just became my own voice that I would push myself to succeed.
I would push myself and I would suffer because of it. I would never feel good enough. And I would be a perfectionist. And with everything that I created, it just never felt perfect. It never felt right. And I just didn’t feel good about it. Or I just felt like it was a struggle through all my journeys, because I was hard on myself for the little mistakes or failures that I might’ve made along the way. The mindset shift that hugely changed my life was learning to give more love to myself and recognizing that if you love yourself –if you love a person, you’re not going to be so hard on them.
You’re going to just naturally gently support them. And if they make a mistake or if they fail, that’s okay, it’s a part of life. So it just allows you to be more accepting of yourself. Once you give yourself love, you accept yourself, everything is more okay.
Nothing is the end of the world. Life will go on and you’re just less stressed that way. There’s less of a pressure and less burden than if you were to be hard on yourself and be super perfectionist about everything.
Today across the whole of India. Even in other parts of the world. We are celebrating the festival of Holi. You might be reminded of so many memories of how you celebrated Holi every year. Meeting each other, splashing colours. Distributing sweets. Holi, a celebration of love and happiness is in the air. We would erase mutual differences.
We would put an end to matters of the past. We would request each other not to feel bad because it’s Holi. But this year it is different. We are perhaps away from family and friends. We will not be able to meet. And we will certainly not be able to splash colours on each other.
It’s completely different this time. But often, such circumstances give us the time and chance. To contemplate. Whether the way we were celebrating this festival every year.
What did the festival intend to teach us?. Was the aim-objective of the festival was just that much -. Of burning the Holika? Of splashing colours on each other? distributing sweets? Was this the aim-objective of the festival?. Or did it intend to bring about a certain newness, change, or transformation within us?. It’s important to introspect today.
On Holika, we light up a pyre. And offer many things into that fire. What does it signify? Holika is burnt at night. Night means the ‘night-time’ of this world. The world refers to our inner soul.
The power of meditation. And into that fire let us offer our weaknesses, matters from the past, pain, and wrong habits. So we need to burn and finish everything that is not right for us, isn’t it?. This all happens through the power of meditation. Any habit that we want to give up. Any old belief system. Which had tied us into limitations. We can finish all those matters today.
That is the true meaning of burning the Holika. And when we finish those weaknesses, old habits, comfort zones, wrong habits, and past matters. And with the power of meditation when we connect with God. We receive love, power and knowledge from God. Then the original qualities inherently present within us. What are those colours?. Purity, love, peace. Happiness, bliss, wisdom. All of these are our original colours.
This means these are our original Sacraments. They are our original nature. But we had forgotten our original Sacraments. And we believed that anger, jealousy. Which are negative Sacraments. We believed those to be our Sacraments. When we connect to God during meditation. We sacrifice or offer our weaknesses.
Then our original colours which mean our original Sacraments. They emerge and, of course, the colours that we have with us. Those are the colours that we can apply on others, isn’t it?. When the colours of purity, power, love, and happiness. Compassion, acceptance. When these qualities emerge within us.
Then the people who come into interaction with us. We will apply those colours to that person. With our vibrations, words, and behaviour. Those colours will get applied to other people (by us). The other person will apply the colours that he has, on us.
Today we need to finalise one thing. The other person carries his Sacraments. We shall not become judgemental of whether they are right or wrong. Because being judgemental is not a nice colour. Being critical about someone is not a nice colour. When we think wrong about someone. We believe we are right because they indeed are like that. So we feel our thoughts about them are bound to be that way.
We are not to see the colours that they have. What is the colour I have, which means what is my Sacrament?. The pure, divine Sacrament that I have with me. We need to apply these colours to them. We need to pay attention. Generally what we pay attention to, during Holi is -. Other people must not be able to splash colours on me, but I should splash colours on them.
Although everyone is splashing colours on each other. Yet, our goal is. That I should splash colours on other people.. We need to pay the same attention even in life.
First of all, the colour of understanding. Understanding means get into the mind of the other person to know why they are that way.
What could the other person be thinking?
For him to have spoken that way?
For him to have behaved that way?
What could be troubling him?
Why could he have been jealous? We need to understand their state of mind.
This means we need to understand what colours(thoughts) they have. And most importantly, we should not apply those colours(thoughts) to our state of mind. We need to use the colours that we inherently have. Because we have already burnt Holika. This means we have already burnt and finished our negativity and weaknesses. And we have emerged the purity within us.
So we need to always keep our positivity ready to use. Holi festival is a celebration of the victory of good over evil.
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Let’s talk about what to do when you feel like doing nothing when everything feels exhausting, and you have no energy or motivation to do anything. I know some of you want to hear tips on how to be productive when you’re feeling unmotivated, but the truth is when you’re in this low state the best thing you can do is the opposite of being productive you have to slow down be gentle on yourself and allow yourself to heal.
Don’t even try to get your life together just allow yourself to be if you’re feeling this way. It’s likely you have high expectations for yourself and you’re frustrated because you haven’t been able to show up the way you wanted or maybe others have high expectations of you whether it’s your parents or the people around you or maybe you’ve been pushing yourself too hard taking too much on your plate.
And just burning ourselves out other times, we might feel this way because we had expectations for what the world should be or what our life should look like and when that all fell short, we lost our sense of control and didn’t know how to handle it.
Honestly even the pandemic and seeing the ugly parts of society can be really disheartening and cause many of us to feel hungover unmotivated and exhausted in terms of energy we’ve been operating too much in our masculine focusing on productivity achievement external success and control and now our body and energy are telling us we need to surrender to our feminine to go inward slow down heal and love ourselves. Surrender is a keyword here we must release.
Our feeling of control releases our expectations on ourselves and accept ourselves as we are right now it’s both hard and easy at the same time it can be so hard to surrender but on the other hand, it’s so easy because all you have to do is let go there’s no action needed just in action.
So what should you do when you feel like doing nothing?
First of all, let yourself rest. Remove any and all pressure to be or do anything just exist.
Stop putting any expectations on yourself and understand that you probably feel burnt out or depleted.
so just let your body and mind rest and recuperate. I think it’s so ironic and magical that when you’re unwell all you have to do is do nothing aka rest because your body is fighting hard for you. Your immune system is doing the hard work and your body literally already knows what to do you don’t have to do body to balance and heal itself.
Secondly, give yourself love be kind and gentle with yourself no matter what practice unconditional love meaning give yourself love regardless of anything love is accepting so accept yourself exactly as you are right now, don’t force anything and practice self-forgiveness if you’ve been hard on yourself wherever you are right now
Try shifting your focus. Don’t underestimate the power of changing your perspective. We often feel low because we’ve been focusing on the wrong or difficult things.
When you focus on what is hard for example the shoulder pain and shaking arms while practising any exercise, you feel like giving up because it’s such a struggle but when you focus on what is easy like
Breathing. It makes it, easier to get through a tough time so instead of focusing on what is hard. Try focusing on what is easy instead of focusing on what’s going wrong in your life focus on what is still going right.
Do this as a journaling exercise actively choose where you turn your attention to because it matters and it makes a huge difference in how we feel if you feel like you need more help talk to someone in your life that you trust.
We each need a support system in our lives and our mental health suffers if we don’t have anyone.
The next piece of advice I have for you when you’re feeling low is to stop consuming content that makes you feel worse. This includes any content that makes you feel bad about yourself; content that makes you compare yourself to others and even positive or inspirational content because sometimes, it reminds you of what you’re unable to do.
Right now, sometimes it can be hard to have a positive mindset about something and that’s okay allow yourself to feel whatever it is you’re feeling right now. Accept yourself as you are.
If you want an instant refresh. You can also go into nature being in nature heals you on a spiritual level.
You’re reminded of the stillness and ease in nature and that you’re just a small part of this bigger world.
When you’re out in nature you feel small here you can revive your sense of peace.
It doesn’t even have to be a major trip. Just take a walk outside. Go to a nearby park maybe go to the
beach or the mountains or even your local nursery I mean even going to your local home improvement store where they have that outdoor nursery can make you feel a little better.
because I feel like the energy of the plants and flowers can be so healing next understand that life happens in cycles just like the cycle of the day/night or four seasons. Life also happens in cycles. Change is the only constant this means that life never stays the same and is always going through cycles or seasons.
Have you ever heard of the saying this too shall pass whatever you’re going through know that it will pass you might be going through a tough time right now but it won’t stay like this forever your situation and your feelings will change? Just stay patient and persevere through.
This season learns to embrace the cycles and seasons of your life both the highs and the lows because without that lows there wouldn’t be highs and vice versa. It’s the depth and the variety that allow you to feel the difference if you only knew day but never knew night you would take the sun for granted. You wouldn’t appreciate it as much. It’s because you know night that you can appreciate the day and vice versa same with our emotions.
It’s because you’ve experienced the lows that you can deeply appreciate the highs. Once you’ve given yourself rest and you’re ready to take some action start with baby steps again release any expectations or pressure.
You might have for yourself break down your tasks into the smallest easiest chunks you can if you want to start exercising to nurture your health and boost your mood instead of setting a goal like I want to work out for an hour every day.
Set tiny goals like put on my workout clothes today, put on my shoes open a workout app or step outside to walk for five minutes do as much as you feel you can.
And most importantly, congratulate yourself for those small actions we tend to want to be ambitious and set these big goals for ourselves but when we don’t meet them we feel like we’ve failed and then we feel even worse about ourselves the better approach is to start small and give yourself grace a small effort is still an effort by doing this you take the pressure off and you’re building your stamina to be able to do more.
Lastly and importantly find gratitude in every little thing get specific about all the small things in life you’re grateful for open up your journal or a word doc and start writing a list of sentences that begin with I’m grateful or I’m blessed.
I did this exercise last night and ended up writing over 900 words in a list that went on and on it’s funny how once you start focusing on gratitude more and more things pop up, I wrote things like
I’m blessed to have experienced music, festivals and concerts pre-pandemic.
I’m blessed to have a big family with a lot of cousins.
I’m blessed to have a great relationship with my brother.
I’m blessed to have healed from emotional baggage in my past.
I’m blessed to be alive and healthy during a pandemic.
I hope these ideas were helpful to you. It’s a gentle reminder that if you feel like doing nothing,
It’s okay to do nothing.
It’s okay to give yourself space to breathe and to heal.
It’s okay to be gentle with yourself.
We all need it from time to time. It’s part of our cycle like I said there are both masculine and feminine energies our world operates mostly on the masculine and we’re expected to do and achieve and add value to the world, but we can’t ignore the feminine energy that wants us to go inward to allow to be I’m learning more and more the beauty of simply existing of least effort not trying to achieve or do more but to do less and allow life to flow more naturally.
I think people worry that if you don’t do anything your life won’t move forward but that’s not true just as your body knows how to heal itself when you do nothing your life will be guided forward and change will happen because change is always happening even if you’re not trying to all you have to do is follow your intuition and if you don’t know what it’s telling you to get quiet maybe it’s telling you; you need a break.
If you make it till last, please leave a comment below with your thoughts are you able to surrender and flow with ease can you release those expectations you have on yourself.
Sending you so much love for your journey!
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Be proud of yourself for flying solo. You should choose to stay alone because one day you will realise that having unwanted relationships with people won’t guarantee you happiness.
Your mind isn’t going to find out all the answers in life just because you’re inspired by someone’s care and affection.
Some of us do it by choice. Some of us do it because we have to. But for most of us, during our lifetime, at some stage we will have to live alone. It can be a great time for independence and learning. Living alone can engender a sense of control and freedom.
When you live alone you begin to enjoy your own company. You learn to be happy with yourself.
When you start to be yourself you will practice far more self-acceptance and self-love. You learn to trust yourself more. When you live alone it’s all on you. You develop your own ideas and opinions. You will learn what you are capable of without the constraints of other people’s thinking.
Everyone says I don’t care
Everyone says I’m positive
Everyone says I’m happy all the time
You go home and see everyone will be depressed as hell in their lives.
Overthinking overshadows your appreciation for life and replaces calmness with anxiety and misery.
The word ‘Gossip’ is from Old English- godsibb, from god and sibb, the term used for the godparents of one’s child or the parents of one’s godchild, generally very close friends.
The term originates from the event of the birth of a child which was exclusively attended by women.
But how did it gain a different meaning?
Well, in medieval times, a child’s birth was like a huge social event. During the labour pain, ‘godsibbs’ provided moral support to the mother. And this is how men started associating gossip with women.
Gossip was actually a bonding experience for all the women of the community but was perceived as ‘meaningless chatter’ by men. Over time, gossip came to mean talk of others.
Further tuned in to
That the ‘Scold’s Bridle’ was a gruesome mask used as punishment for “Rude, clamorous woman,” who were considered to be spending too much gossiping or quarrelling in Medieval times.
Even widows, old women, and those abandoned by their husbands were banished from ‘talking too much.’ Even comforting each other was seen as a waste of time.
In the 19th and 20th centuries, the concept of gossip as a negative thing associated with women strengthened even more.
Even today when women talk about anything, especially about other women, they are labelled as catty, bitchy, or spiteful.
But why is gossip seen as something negative?
Since women try to help each other out and protect each other from the potential threats from the patriarchal society, men have labelled it as ‘bitchy’ to turn women against each other.
In fact, a study by Megan Robbins shows that – 74.3% of all sampled gossip in the study was neutral, meaning not positively or negatively evaluative.
So, now that we know what gossip was intended to do- form a strong bond and help each other.
Let’s work towards spreading, the actual meaning of GOSSIP!
After scrolling social media for so many years I guess I know why Social Media is very addictive for us. Because it gives us the immediate reward by the time, we post something (likes’ notifications) which we don’t easily get in social interaction.
Though the real addiction we should have is our Soul. It is our real identity and personality.
Let’s see an apologue :
Once upon a time, there was a king with four wives, one day king got sick and was on his death bed.
He was afraid of being in the afterlife alone, so he asked his fourth wife which he loved the most and bought her diamonds, gold, and elegant clothing. He asked her would you die with me? and go with me to the afterlife?
The fourth wife replied I am sorry I cannot do that and walked away.
He also loved his third wife he was very proud and would show her off to neighbouring kingdoms, so he called on his third wife and asked would you accompany him to the afterlife.
The third wife replied I love my life too much. I’m sorry I cannot go with you and when you die, I’m going to remarry.
His second wife has always been there for him in his times of need, so he asked would you accompany me to the afterlife?
The second wife then replied I am sorry that I can’t help you out this time, but what I can do is arrange your funeral and I will be there for your funeral.
A voice called out and spoke. I’ll leave with you and follow you wherever you go even if it is to the afterlife.
The King looked it was his first wife, but this was the wife that he took care of the least. He felt embarrassed and said I’m sorry I should’ve taken better care of you and given you more attention when I was alive. The moral of this story is that WE ALL HAVE FOUR WIVES.
Our fourth wife is our body, we like to decorate it with nice jewellery, nice clothing but in the end, it can’t follow us to the afterlife.
The Third wife represents our possessions, we spend so much time trying to gather possessions but, in the end, they cannot follow us to the afterlife, and it will be given to other people just like the third wife said she’s going to remarry.
The second wife is our friends and family. We trust them they’re always there for us in times of need, but the farthest they can go with us is to our funeral and send us off.
The first wife represents our soul, we usually neglect taking care of our soul but that is the thing that will follow us to the afterlife.
Care for your body, keep it healthy. Enjoy your possessions and the comfort they provide. Cherish your friends and family for the love that they provide, but don’t forget to take care of your soul, nourish your soul.
Take time to be alone. Take time to pray. Take time to meditate. Because it is the source of all your life and your most faithful friend.
I hope this story can help you or somebody that you love.
This blog is all about my assignment work. Assignment on choosing my Niche, with this internship program I got a clear vision that motivation is the first step to learning. Posting my work on the blog gives me a kick. This is just based on assumption.
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I was reviewing your social profiles and observed that your company provides spa services in various cities. Our services can help expand your customer base as well as revenue as there is a lot of potential available in the market. It will also give you an edge over the competition.
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