The self-love shifts have changed my life. The first shift that really, really changed my life, and it sounds so simple, but it’s a huge one, is I began to listen to my heart. I began to listen to that inner voice and that intuition, because my entire life, I lived my life listening to what other people told me to do.
I listened to what my parents told me to do, what my teachers and society and peers were suggesting to me to do. I never felt confident in myself and my own voice. Anytime I had to make a decision, I would ask everyone around me for what they thought and I would value their opinions over my own.
So what really changed in my life in my early thirties, as I started to realize, I can’t live my life listening to other people. I have to listen to this voice within because deep down, I truly know what feels right and what’s best for me.
Listening to your heart, listening to that inner voice, is the most powerful guide you have because that is going to lead you to where you’re meant to go in life. If you listen to other people, if you live your life trying to impress other people or get other people’s approval, you’re just going to be led astray and you’re not going to feel happy and fulfilled.
The second shift that changed my life is I started to discover and nurture my own gifts, strengths, and talents. I felt like I didn’t really know myself that well before I was in my early twenties. I just kind of went about life and some things I might’ve been good at, like writing, but I never really took the time to really understand myself and reflect and recognize what I’m good at.
What personality quirks do I have? Why do people like being around me? I didn’t recognize the talents and the gifts that I had, and when I didn’t know what I was meant to do in life, that’s what I really had to search to figure out
who I am,
what I’m good at,
what I love to do.
And that journey in just exploring all these different things that I was curious about or interested in, that journey led me to really understand myself, where my strengths lie. And once you understand where your strengths and gifts and talents lie, that’s kind of like your toolkit. That’s what you use to create your dream life because that is your best chance to create value in the world, meaning it’s your best chance for maybe a career path or a life path.
It’s your best chance to feeling fulfilled along the way, because you feel happy and fulfilled when you’re doing things that you’re good at and things that you love doing. So if you don’t know what those are for you yet, that’s totally okay.
I simply suggest you go out and find it, to have the courage to go out and explore, try new things, figure out what you’re good at. Maybe ask the people around you what’s unique about you.
What are your strengths?
What do they think you have about you that is special, that is different from others?
Because we all have things that make us unique and knowing that is our power.The third self love shift that changed my life for real is being gentle on myself,learning not to be so hard on myself,because I was a person that always put such high expectations and pressures on myself –obviously a trickle-down from the expectations my parents put on me, but it just became my own voice that I would push myself to succeed.
I would push myself and I would suffer because of it. I would never feel good enough. And I would be a perfectionist. And with everything that I created, it just never felt perfect. It never felt right. And I just didn’t feel good about it. Or I just felt like it was a struggle through all my journeys, because I was hard on myself for the little mistakes or failures that I might’ve made along the way. The mindset shift that hugely changed my life was learning to give more love to myself and recognizing that if you love yourself –if you love a person, you’re not going to be so hard on them.
You’re going to just naturally gently support them. And if they make a mistake or if they fail, that’s okay, it’s a part of life. So it just allows you to be more accepting of yourself. Once you give yourself love, you accept yourself, everything is more okay.
Nothing is the end of the world. Life will go on and you’re just less stressed that way. There’s less of a pressure and less burden than if you were to be hard on yourself and be super perfectionist about everything.
The main thing about any experience is learning. Yes, you must. It doesn’t mean you forget it. It just means you will always take those lessons you learned, whatever it was, and just keep it as a reference, like something you’ve experienced that you can learn from Good or Bad.
You must live in the present. By having experienced something horrible, it doesn’t make you horrible. It just makes you that much wiser. But we must strive to stay in the present. That is all we have and we will ever have. The past has already been lived and we can’t change it.
The future is not here yet but if we live a good present, our past will start to transform into a good one, as you look back, and the future will be along the uplifted road that you are creating from the positive present.
Yesterday is history, Tomorrow is a mystery But Today is a gift, that is why it is called the ‘Present’.
Asking this question, ‘s a very important question and that question is “Do You Believe In Yourself?” You must have seen that a lot of people say they believe but the reality is their actions. Don’t demonstrate it. It is reflected in your life choices and it is reflected in your behaviour.
Today, I’m gonna relate the term “Believe In Yourself” with the “Law Of Attraction.”
The law of attraction says that whatever desires we have in our mind, however strong that desire is, it will be fulfilled sooner or later. Whether, it be a good desire or a bad one, whether, it be positive or a negative.
Let’s look at an example, Once an interviewer asked a candidate to choose between five easy questions or one tough question. The candidate chose one tough question. The interviewer asked him which came into existence first chicken or egg. He said chicken. The interviewer said explain your answer. Immediately, he said you said only one tough question.
That’s how we learned, the interview is not knowledge assessment but personality assessment. They don’t care whether you know the answer or not. They just want to know how you handle it, with what personality, with what confidence, with what situational brilliance do you handle an interview.
In fact, a confident ‘I don’t know the answer but if you want, I can find it; is the better answer rather than the incorrect answer. This is the power of “Believe In Yourself.” And the ladder of the belief is your desires, thinking, speaking and actions.
When we start becoming conscious about what we are saying, thinking and doing then it will be so easy to reflect upon how we go through certain situations in our life. What happens when your mind starts becoming clean, clear? The whole world becomes like a mirror in front of you. It becomes like a reflection of your own self.
So, you start seeing people around you to be loving, to be caring, to be positive. Hence, you see that behaviour in someone else as well. That is the law of attraction.
What we can do today, is to focus and try to catch those thoughts that we have in our mind. From there, we can try to improve on a daily basis.
My life and all of our lives are filled with challenges that make it a bit difficult to be peaceful sometimes. Peaceful living leads us to be a creative thinker and smarter decision-maker.
As far as I am concerned, peacefulness keeps me good-humoured, spirited & friendly to others. Here I go, to demonstrate my panorama on peaceful living:
A formula that can be applied to any situation in life that I have learnt from Shri Guru Granth Sahib Ji.
ACCEPTANCE= PEACEFUL LIVING
The first thing is the moment you receive a consequence, Accept it. Whatever consequence is, first is Acceptance. Accept the unchangeable. Nothing can be done about it. It has to be accepted which means, the moment you accept it your peace is automatically protected. It is the power of Acceptance.
You know, why we get angry? Something is happening or something is about to happen; not the way I want it, that makes me angry. My non-acceptance makes it anger, a negative emotion, but when I am able to accept it, it becomes tolerance. My acceptance makes it tolerance, a positive emotion. Like this, the chain of emotions going on & on & on.
If I confer about another emotion, Fear. Such as, I am scared of public speaking and meeting. Maybe that’s why I have started writing. Well, back to the point, now the question arises, when do you feel fear? Whenever you face uncertainty, you feel fear. That leads you not to be adventurous or risk-taker.
Because you don’t want to face any uncertainty, you will not take part in any adventurous sport or event. Infect in the mode of context, nobody can be in business if you don’t want to face uncertainty. In reality in this modern world, doing business is an adventurous sport.
When I am facing uncertainty and I am not able to accept it, it becomes fear for me and when I am able to accept, it becomes an adventure. Furthermore, if someone hurts me and I am not able to accept, it becomes Hatred or if I accept, it becomes Forgiveness.
Something + non-acceptance is Anger, a negative emotion.
Something + acceptance is Tolerance, a positive emotion.
Something + non-acceptance is Fear, a negative emotion.
Something + acceptance is Adventure, a positive emotion.
The moment we turn our non-acceptance into acceptance, in that very instance, negative emotion will become positive emotion.
Hatred becomes Forgiveness,
Jealousy becomes Inspiration,
Fear becomes Adventure,
Anger becomes Tolerance,
Negative becomes Positive
When you change, your life changes. If you be worried, will change something out there in the world then, it makes sense but the universal truth is worrying don’t change anything. Executing acceptance is the only option.