The mind is our powerful instrument. If we take care and live of awareness and choice then we control the mind.
If we are unaware then we live an automated life and the mind starts controlling us. One of the two options will be true, either we control the mind controls us.
The thoughts we create influence our reality. If we read, listen, talk and think that our mind is not in our control, then it becomes our deep belief system. The belief system becomes our reality and we are not able to take charge of our mind.
Let us create a daily affirmation– “This mind is mine. I am the master. My mind works according to me. I create the thought which I choose. I think only that thought which I like. I choose for how long I want to keep it on my mind.”
Once we make a decision to do something. We need to stick to that decision. The mind may create thoughts of distraction, we should not succumb.
Determination increases willpower. The mind gets disciplined and will always follow our instruction.
Emotionally strong means the Immunity system is very high.
“The mind is a superb instrument if used rightly. Used wrongly, however, it becomes very destructive. To put it more accurately, it is not so much that you use your mind wrongly — you usually don’t use it at all. It uses you. This is the disease. You believe that you are your mind. This is the delusion. The instrument has taken you over.”
Never stop fighting until you arrive at your destined place – that is, the unique you. Have an aim in life, continuously acquire knowledge, work hard, and have the perseverance to realise the great life. – A. P. J. Abdul Kalam
Let’s talk about what to do when you feel like doing nothing when everything feels exhausting, and you have no energy or motivation to do anything. I know some of you want to hear tips on how to be productive when you’re feeling unmotivated, but the truth is when you’re in this low state the best thing you can do is the opposite of being productive you have to slow down be gentle on yourself and allow yourself to heal.
Don’t even try to get your life together just allow yourself to be if you’re feeling this way. It’s likely you have high expectations for yourself and you’re frustrated because you haven’t been able to show up the way you wanted or maybe others have high expectations of you whether it’s your parents or the people around you or maybe you’ve been pushing yourself too hard taking too much on your plate.
And just burning ourselves out other times, we might feel this way because we had expectations for what the world should be or what our life should look like and when that all fell short, we lost our sense of control and didn’t know how to handle it.
Honestly even the pandemic and seeing the ugly parts of society can be really disheartening and cause many of us to feel hungover unmotivated and exhausted in terms of energy we’ve been operating too much in our masculine focusing on productivity achievement external success and control and now our body and energy are telling us we need to surrender to our feminine to go inward slow down heal and love ourselves. Surrender is a keyword here we must release.
Our feeling of control releases our expectations on ourselves and accept ourselves as we are right now it’s both hard and easy at the same time it can be so hard to surrender but on the other hand, it’s so easy because all you have to do is let go there’s no action needed just in action.
So what should you do when you feel like doing nothing?
First of all, let yourself rest. Remove any and all pressure to be or do anything just exist.
Stop putting any expectations on yourself and understand that you probably feel burnt out or depleted.
so just let your body and mind rest and recuperate. I think it’s so ironic and magical that when you’re unwell all you have to do is do nothing aka rest because your body is fighting hard for you. Your immune system is doing the hard work and your body literally already knows what to do you don’t have to do body to balance and heal itself.
Secondly, give yourself love be kind and gentle with yourself no matter what practice unconditional love meaning give yourself love regardless of anything love is accepting so accept yourself exactly as you are right now, don’t force anything and practice self-forgiveness if you’ve been hard on yourself wherever you are right now
Try shifting your focus. Don’t underestimate the power of changing your perspective. We often feel low because we’ve been focusing on the wrong or difficult things.
When you focus on what is hard for example the shoulder pain and shaking arms while practising any exercise, you feel like giving up because it’s such a struggle but when you focus on what is easy like
Breathing. It makes it, easier to get through a tough time so instead of focusing on what is hard. Try focusing on what is easy instead of focusing on what’s going wrong in your life focus on what is still going right.
Do this as a journaling exercise actively choose where you turn your attention to because it matters and it makes a huge difference in how we feel if you feel like you need more help talk to someone in your life that you trust.
We each need a support system in our lives and our mental health suffers if we don’t have anyone.
The next piece of advice I have for you when you’re feeling low is to stop consuming content that makes you feel worse. This includes any content that makes you feel bad about yourself; content that makes you compare yourself to others and even positive or inspirational content because sometimes, it reminds you of what you’re unable to do.
Right now, sometimes it can be hard to have a positive mindset about something and that’s okay allow yourself to feel whatever it is you’re feeling right now. Accept yourself as you are.
If you want an instant refresh. You can also go into nature being in nature heals you on a spiritual level.
You’re reminded of the stillness and ease in nature and that you’re just a small part of this bigger world.
When you’re out in nature you feel small here you can revive your sense of peace.
It doesn’t even have to be a major trip. Just take a walk outside. Go to a nearby park maybe go to the
beach or the mountains or even your local nursery I mean even going to your local home improvement store where they have that outdoor nursery can make you feel a little better.
because I feel like the energy of the plants and flowers can be so healing next understand that life happens in cycles just like the cycle of the day/night or four seasons. Life also happens in cycles. Change is the only constant this means that life never stays the same and is always going through cycles or seasons.
Have you ever heard of the saying this too shall pass whatever you’re going through know that it will pass you might be going through a tough time right now but it won’t stay like this forever your situation and your feelings will change? Just stay patient and persevere through.
This season learns to embrace the cycles and seasons of your life both the highs and the lows because without that lows there wouldn’t be highs and vice versa. It’s the depth and the variety that allow you to feel the difference if you only knew day but never knew night you would take the sun for granted. You wouldn’t appreciate it as much. It’s because you know night that you can appreciate the day and vice versa same with our emotions.
It’s because you’ve experienced the lows that you can deeply appreciate the highs. Once you’ve given yourself rest and you’re ready to take some action start with baby steps again release any expectations or pressure.
You might have for yourself break down your tasks into the smallest easiest chunks you can if you want to start exercising to nurture your health and boost your mood instead of setting a goal like I want to work out for an hour every day.
Set tiny goals like put on my workout clothes today, put on my shoes open a workout app or step outside to walk for five minutes do as much as you feel you can.
And most importantly, congratulate yourself for those small actions we tend to want to be ambitious and set these big goals for ourselves but when we don’t meet them we feel like we’ve failed and then we feel even worse about ourselves the better approach is to start small and give yourself grace a small effort is still an effort by doing this you take the pressure off and you’re building your stamina to be able to do more.
Lastly and importantly find gratitude in every little thing get specific about all the small things in life you’re grateful for open up your journal or a word doc and start writing a list of sentences that begin with I’m grateful or I’m blessed.
I did this exercise last night and ended up writing over 900 words in a list that went on and on it’s funny how once you start focusing on gratitude more and more things pop up, I wrote things like
I’m blessed to have experienced music, festivals and concerts pre-pandemic.
I’m blessed to have a big family with a lot of cousins.
I’m blessed to have a great relationship with my brother.
I’m blessed to have healed from emotional baggage in my past.
I’m blessed to be alive and healthy during a pandemic.
I hope these ideas were helpful to you. It’s a gentle reminder that if you feel like doing nothing,
It’s okay to do nothing.
It’s okay to give yourself space to breathe and to heal.
It’s okay to be gentle with yourself.
We all need it from time to time. It’s part of our cycle like I said there are both masculine and feminine energies our world operates mostly on the masculine and we’re expected to do and achieve and add value to the world, but we can’t ignore the feminine energy that wants us to go inward to allow to be I’m learning more and more the beauty of simply existing of least effort not trying to achieve or do more but to do less and allow life to flow more naturally.
I think people worry that if you don’t do anything your life won’t move forward but that’s not true just as your body knows how to heal itself when you do nothing your life will be guided forward and change will happen because change is always happening even if you’re not trying to all you have to do is follow your intuition and if you don’t know what it’s telling you to get quiet maybe it’s telling you; you need a break.
If you make it till last, please leave a comment below with your thoughts are you able to surrender and flow with ease can you release those expectations you have on yourself.
Sending you so much love for your journey!
P.S: I am sharing the link of one of my friends on passive income. Please do check it out.
The word ‘Gossip’ is from Old English- godsibb, from god and sibb, the term used for the godparents of one’s child or the parents of one’s godchild, generally very close friends.
The term originates from the event of the birth of a child which was exclusively attended by women.
But how did it gain a different meaning?
Well, in medieval times, a child’s birth was like a huge social event. During the labour pain, ‘godsibbs’ provided moral support to the mother. And this is how men started associating gossip with women.
Gossip was actually a bonding experience for all the women of the community but was perceived as ‘meaningless chatter’ by men. Over time, gossip came to mean talk of others.
Further tuned in to
That the ‘Scold’s Bridle’ was a gruesome mask used as punishment for “Rude, clamorous woman,” who were considered to be spending too much gossiping or quarrelling in Medieval times.
Even widows, old women, and those abandoned by their husbands were banished from ‘talking too much.’ Even comforting each other was seen as a waste of time.
In the 19th and 20th centuries, the concept of gossip as a negative thing associated with women strengthened even more.
Even today when women talk about anything, especially about other women, they are labelled as catty, bitchy, or spiteful.
But why is gossip seen as something negative?
Since women try to help each other out and protect each other from the potential threats from the patriarchal society, men have labelled it as ‘bitchy’ to turn women against each other.
In fact, a study by Megan Robbins shows that – 74.3% of all sampled gossip in the study was neutral, meaning not positively or negatively evaluative.
So, now that we know what gossip was intended to do- form a strong bond and help each other.
Let’s work towards spreading, the actual meaning of GOSSIP!
After scrolling social media for so many years I guess I know why Social Media is very addictive for us. Because it gives us the immediate reward by the time, we post something (likes’ notifications) which we don’t easily get in social interaction.
Though the real addiction we should have is our Soul. It is our real identity and personality.
Let’s see an apologue :
Once upon a time, there was a king with four wives, one day king got sick and was on his death bed.
He was afraid of being in the afterlife alone, so he asked his fourth wife which he loved the most and bought her diamonds, gold, and elegant clothing. He asked her would you die with me? and go with me to the afterlife?
The fourth wife replied I am sorry I cannot do that and walked away.
He also loved his third wife he was very proud and would show her off to neighbouring kingdoms, so he called on his third wife and asked would you accompany him to the afterlife.
The third wife replied I love my life too much. I’m sorry I cannot go with you and when you die, I’m going to remarry.
His second wife has always been there for him in his times of need, so he asked would you accompany me to the afterlife?
The second wife then replied I am sorry that I can’t help you out this time, but what I can do is arrange your funeral and I will be there for your funeral.
A voice called out and spoke. I’ll leave with you and follow you wherever you go even if it is to the afterlife.
The King looked it was his first wife, but this was the wife that he took care of the least. He felt embarrassed and said I’m sorry I should’ve taken better care of you and given you more attention when I was alive. The moral of this story is that WE ALL HAVE FOUR WIVES.
Our fourth wife is our body, we like to decorate it with nice jewellery, nice clothing but in the end, it can’t follow us to the afterlife.
The Third wife represents our possessions, we spend so much time trying to gather possessions but, in the end, they cannot follow us to the afterlife, and it will be given to other people just like the third wife said she’s going to remarry.
The second wife is our friends and family. We trust them they’re always there for us in times of need, but the farthest they can go with us is to our funeral and send us off.
The first wife represents our soul, we usually neglect taking care of our soul but that is the thing that will follow us to the afterlife.
Care for your body, keep it healthy. Enjoy your possessions and the comfort they provide. Cherish your friends and family for the love that they provide, but don’t forget to take care of your soul, nourish your soul.
Take time to be alone. Take time to pray. Take time to meditate. Because it is the source of all your life and your most faithful friend.
I hope this story can help you or somebody that you love.
I strongly believe in growing my spirituality, not my ego. Trying to cultivate a habit of constantly remembering to be grateful. It takes time and a lot of reminders to myself when I am low, however, I hope, with time this will become a lens through which I view my life rather than being in a moment or a day in my life. This helps me stay down to earth and understand situations.
Being grateful can actually improve your mood, your attitude and even your life.
Here’s a story to learn more about gratitude:
One day, there’s a crow that was flying through the forest. He had an amazing life. He was completely satisfied with it until he flew by a lake and saw the most beautiful bird that he had ever seen a swan. This Swan is so white he thought, and I’m so black this is the most beautiful bird that I’ve ever seen. He must be the happiest bird in the world so the crow flew down and expressed his thoughts to the Swan. The Swan thanked him but said actually I used to be the happiest bird in the world until I saw the parrot. Have you ever seen a parrot? It’s beautiful it has two colours. It’s enchanting to look at and now I think that the parrot must be the happiest bird in the world.
So the crow took off and found the parrot and explained this to him. I lived a very happy life until I saw a peacock. The parrot said I only have two colours, but the peacock has so many colours so the crow decided to try to find this peacock. He took off and decided to visit him at the zoo and he had never seen anything like a peacock before.
It was beautiful in all of the colours. It was green, blue, black, purple and when it moved the colours changed in the sunlight and the hundreds of people gathered around just to see the peacock and take pictures of this amazing bird and after the people had left the crow approached the peacock and said Mr. peacock you’re so beautiful. Every day thousands of people come to see you. It must be amazing when people see me they just immediately show me away. You must be the happiest bird on the planet.
The peacock responded and said I’ve always thought that I was the most beautiful bird on the planet and I always thought that I was probably the happiest too but because of my beauty. I’m trapped inside of this zoo and I’ve examined the zoo very carefully and I’ve realized that you Mr. crow you’re the only bird that’s not kept in a cage so far. The past few months I’ve been wishing that I were a crow because if I were a crow I’d be the happiest bird in the world. I could happily roam anywhere than my heart desired and at this moment the Crow realized how great his life actually was and all of the things that he was taking for granted.
Although this was just a story about birds. I think it’s exactly the way that we think because what do we do we scroll through social media and see other people’s lives and they always look so happy and they look so beautiful and we wish that we could have the things that they have and we make these unnecessary comparisons and don’t appreciate in value what we have and this vicious circle leads to so much unhappiness.
Look there’s always someone who’s going to look happier than you. There’s always someone that’s going to have more than you but the happiest people in the world are not the ones who have everything.
The happiest people in the world are the ones who are satisfied with everything that they already have.
I would tell my younger self to love myself. I didn’t love myself in my 20s or in my early 30s. Now in my mid-30s, I have discovered self-love in life. A lot of women are very hard on themselves, they beat themselves up on a lot of things, that they shouldn’t.
But baby you gotta put yourself first. The person who will never leave us, whom we will never lose, is ourselves. Learning to love our female selves is where our search for love begins. As a woman sometimes we get into a habit of not putting ourselves first. And at times I even hear from other ladies that the idea of putting yourself first seems selfish. And there are women who live unhealthy lifestyle because they actually struggle to find time for themselves.
Being a ‘Good Girl’ can be exhausting, mentally draining and totally unnecessary. I strongly feel this is just another entrenched social norm that needs to break slowly. Just another stereotypical thinking that needs to go away. Over the long term, if you ignore your own physical, emotional and financial needs you will burn out.
One of the ways to change this is by – Discussing what you actually NEED. Many women find it hard to tell their family, partner, colleagues or friends what they really want. This reluctance may spring from unequal power dynamics or an unconscious belief that a woman your needs simply aren’t that important and can take a back seat now.
So make a list of things that would make your life easier or happier, whether it’s equalizing housework, a raise or a weekend with your girlfriends, family. Then, share your needs in a straightforward, respectful tone- no apologies required.
So let’s get radical and start making self-care a priority!
We think love is just something we give to others, we should remember that it’s also a gift we can give ourselves every day! We spend so much of our energy cultivating healthy relationships and building up those we love. So why do so many of us not treat ourselves with the same love & care? BE GOOD TO YOURSELF.
Always be the best person you can be. Be kind even when you’re tired. Be understanding even when you’re angry. Give some advice to yourself instead of expecting it from someone else. Best advice for yourself:
Educate yourself – read, read, read.
Be healthy & look after your body.
Don’t wait for someone to love you, learn to love ‘YOURSELF’ first.
Save money – weekly, monthly, annually. It doesn’t matter how much. Just save!
When you mess up, make up for it the next moment or minute or day.
Do more than you’re asked & don’t ask for anything in return.
Be confident in your intentions and keep your eyes ahead instead of wasting your time on those who want to drag you back. Because you can’t change people’s views.
You have to believe that true change for yourself comes from within you, not from anyone else.