Let’s talk about what to do when you feel like doing nothing when everything feels exhausting, and you have no energy or motivation to do anything. I know some of you want to hear tips on how to be productive when you’re feeling unmotivated, but the truth is when you’re in this low state the best thing you can do is the opposite of being productive you have to slow down be gentle on yourself and allow yourself to heal.
Don’t even try to get your life together just allow yourself to be if you’re feeling this way. It’s likely you have high expectations for yourself and you’re frustrated because you haven’t been able to show up the way you wanted or maybe others have high expectations of you whether it’s your parents or the people around you or maybe you’ve been pushing yourself too hard taking too much on your plate.
And just burning ourselves out other times, we might feel this way because we had expectations for what the world should be or what our life should look like and when that all fell short, we lost our sense of control and didn’t know how to handle it.
Honestly even the pandemic and seeing the ugly parts of society can be really disheartening and cause many of us to feel hungover unmotivated and exhausted in terms of energy we’ve been operating too much in our masculine focusing on productivity achievement external success and control and now our body and energy are telling us we need to surrender to our feminine to go inward slow down heal and love ourselves. Surrender is a keyword here we must release.
Our feeling of control releases our expectations on ourselves and accept ourselves as we are right now it’s both hard and easy at the same time it can be so hard to surrender but on the other hand, it’s so easy because all you have to do is let go there’s no action needed just in action.
So what should you do when you feel like doing nothing?
First of all, let yourself rest. Remove any and all pressure to be or do anything just exist.
Stop putting any expectations on yourself and understand that you probably feel burnt out or depleted.
so just let your body and mind rest and recuperate. I think it’s so ironic and magical that when you’re unwell all you have to do is do nothing aka rest because your body is fighting hard for you. Your immune system is doing the hard work and your body literally already knows what to do you don’t have to do body to balance and heal itself.
Secondly, give yourself love be kind and gentle with yourself no matter what practice unconditional love meaning give yourself love regardless of anything love is accepting so accept yourself exactly as you are right now, don’t force anything and practice self-forgiveness if you’ve been hard on yourself wherever you are right now
Try shifting your focus. Don’t underestimate the power of changing your perspective. We often feel low because we’ve been focusing on the wrong or difficult things.
When you focus on what is hard for example the shoulder pain and shaking arms while practising any exercise, you feel like giving up because it’s such a struggle but when you focus on what is easy like
Breathing. It makes it, easier to get through a tough time so instead of focusing on what is hard. Try focusing on what is easy instead of focusing on what’s going wrong in your life focus on what is still going right.
Do this as a journaling exercise actively choose where you turn your attention to because it matters and it makes a huge difference in how we feel if you feel like you need more help talk to someone in your life that you trust.
We each need a support system in our lives and our mental health suffers if we don’t have anyone.
The next piece of advice I have for you when you’re feeling low is to stop consuming content that makes you feel worse. This includes any content that makes you feel bad about yourself; content that makes you compare yourself to others and even positive or inspirational content because sometimes, it reminds you of what you’re unable to do.
Right now, sometimes it can be hard to have a positive mindset about something and that’s okay allow yourself to feel whatever it is you’re feeling right now. Accept yourself as you are.
If you want an instant refresh. You can also go into nature being in nature heals you on a spiritual level.
You’re reminded of the stillness and ease in nature and that you’re just a small part of this bigger world.
When you’re out in nature you feel small here you can revive your sense of peace.
It doesn’t even have to be a major trip. Just take a walk outside. Go to a nearby park maybe go to the
beach or the mountains or even your local nursery I mean even going to your local home improvement store where they have that outdoor nursery can make you feel a little better.
because I feel like the energy of the plants and flowers can be so healing next understand that life happens in cycles just like the cycle of the day/night or four seasons. Life also happens in cycles. Change is the only constant this means that life never stays the same and is always going through cycles or seasons.
Have you ever heard of the saying this too shall pass whatever you’re going through know that it will pass you might be going through a tough time right now but it won’t stay like this forever your situation and your feelings will change? Just stay patient and persevere through.
This season learns to embrace the cycles and seasons of your life both the highs and the lows because without that lows there wouldn’t be highs and vice versa. It’s the depth and the variety that allow you to feel the difference if you only knew day but never knew night you would take the sun for granted. You wouldn’t appreciate it as much. It’s because you know night that you can appreciate the day and vice versa same with our emotions.
It’s because you’ve experienced the lows that you can deeply appreciate the highs. Once you’ve given yourself rest and you’re ready to take some action start with baby steps again release any expectations or pressure.
You might have for yourself break down your tasks into the smallest easiest chunks you can if you want to start exercising to nurture your health and boost your mood instead of setting a goal like I want to work out for an hour every day.
Set tiny goals like put on my workout clothes today, put on my shoes open a workout app or step outside to walk for five minutes do as much as you feel you can.
And most importantly, congratulate yourself for those small actions we tend to want to be ambitious and set these big goals for ourselves but when we don’t meet them we feel like we’ve failed and then we feel even worse about ourselves the better approach is to start small and give yourself grace a small effort is still an effort by doing this you take the pressure off and you’re building your stamina to be able to do more.
Lastly and importantly find gratitude in every little thing get specific about all the small things in life you’re grateful for open up your journal or a word doc and start writing a list of sentences that begin with I’m grateful or I’m blessed.
I did this exercise last night and ended up writing over 900 words in a list that went on and on it’s funny how once you start focusing on gratitude more and more things pop up, I wrote things like
I’m blessed to have experienced music, festivals and concerts pre-pandemic.
I’m blessed to have a big family with a lot of cousins.
I’m blessed to have a great relationship with my brother.
I’m blessed to have healed from emotional baggage in my past.
I’m blessed to be alive and healthy during a pandemic.
I hope these ideas were helpful to you. It’s a gentle reminder that if you feel like doing nothing,
It’s okay to do nothing.
It’s okay to give yourself space to breathe and to heal.
It’s okay to be gentle with yourself.
We all need it from time to time. It’s part of our cycle like I said there are both masculine and feminine energies our world operates mostly on the masculine and we’re expected to do and achieve and add value to the world, but we can’t ignore the feminine energy that wants us to go inward to allow to be I’m learning more and more the beauty of simply existing of least effort not trying to achieve or do more but to do less and allow life to flow more naturally.
I think people worry that if you don’t do anything your life won’t move forward but that’s not true just as your body knows how to heal itself when you do nothing your life will be guided forward and change will happen because change is always happening even if you’re not trying to all you have to do is follow your intuition and if you don’t know what it’s telling you to get quiet maybe it’s telling you; you need a break.
If you make it till last, please leave a comment below with your thoughts are you able to surrender and flow with ease can you release those expectations you have on yourself.
Sending you so much love for your journey!
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I would tell my younger self to love myself. I didn’t love myself in my 20s or in my early 30s. Now in my mid-30s, I have discovered self-love in life. A lot of women are very hard on themselves, they beat themselves up on a lot of things, that they shouldn’t.
But baby you gotta put yourself first. The person who will never leave us, whom we will never lose, is ourselves. Learning to love our female selves is where our search for love begins. As a woman sometimes we get into a habit of not putting ourselves first. And at times I even hear from other ladies that the idea of putting yourself first seems selfish. And there are women who live unhealthy lifestyle because they actually struggle to find time for themselves.
Being a ‘Good Girl’ can be exhausting, mentally draining and totally unnecessary. I strongly feel this is just another entrenched social norm that needs to break slowly. Just another stereotypical thinking that needs to go away. Over the long term, if you ignore your own physical, emotional and financial needs you will burn out.
One of the ways to change this is by – Discussing what you actually NEED. Many women find it hard to tell their family, partner, colleagues or friends what they really want. This reluctance may spring from unequal power dynamics or an unconscious belief that a woman your needs simply aren’t that important and can take a back seat now.
So make a list of things that would make your life easier or happier, whether it’s equalizing housework, a raise or a weekend with your girlfriends, family. Then, share your needs in a straightforward, respectful tone- no apologies required.
So let’s get radical and start making self-care a priority!
One of my friends is always active on social media. She hires a professional photographer along with her, no matter where they go or what they do, the whole family just looks beautiful and she’s always posting about how blessed she is. And I get the feeling that she’s not just saying those things for the sake of social media, but she truly means it. Anyhow while scrolling her life sometimes I feel depressed. I started passing judgments about her in any manner. We all do this, right? It’s hard not to do. But that way of thinking costs us something.
What are badhabits costs us?
Maybe you scrolled through your social media feed and you thought,” So what if I roll my eyes? It’s just five seconds of my time. How could it be hurting me?” Well, researchers have found that envying your friends on social media actually leads to depression.
Why do others have all the luck? This simple question is the main culprit. This way of thinking keeps you stuck, keeps you focused on the problem. We try to escape it by doing things like hosting a pity party; although it’s a temporary distraction, it just prolongs the pain.
There are three kinds of destructive beliefs that make us less effective and rob our mental strength:
Unhealthy beliefs about ourselves.
Unhealthy beliefs about others.
Unhealthy beliefs about the world.
Knowing it and doing it, can be two different things. Our journey taught us that the secret to being mentally strong is that you have to give up your bad mental habits. Mental strength is a lot like physical strength. Always have hope that someday life could get better.
So, how do you give up those bad mental habits that you’ve carried around with you?
You need good habits like practising gratitude. But you also have to give up bad habits, like resenting somebody else’s success. No matter how often that happens, it will hold you back. The only way to get through uncomfortable emotions, is you have to go through them. To let yourself feel sad and then move on. To gain confidence in your ability to deal with that discomfort. Don’t compare yourself with others.
Your world is what you make it. They believe that you can change it is the small step you have to take. Improvement on a daily basis is our motto. Improve your unhealthy beliefs which are keeping you away from being as mentally strong.
Uplift yourself by the power of your mind. Don’t degrade yourself; you can only do so when you take charge of your mind. This will happen only when you stop playing the blame game. Well, to be happy you need nothing. It’s just a choice that you are making.