The self-love shifts have changed my life. The first shift that really, really changed my life, and it sounds so simple, but it’s a huge one, is I began to listen to my heart. I began to listen to that inner voice and that intuition, because my entire life, I lived my life listening to what other people told me to do.
I listened to what my parents told me to do, what my teachers and society and peers were suggesting to me to do. I never felt confident in myself and my own voice. Anytime I had to make a decision, I would ask everyone around me for what they thought and I would value their opinions over my own.
So what really changed in my life in my early thirties, as I started to realize, I can’t live my life listening to other people. I have to listen to this voice within because deep down, I truly know what feels right and what’s best for me.
Listening to your heart, listening to that inner voice, is the most powerful guide you have because that is going to lead you to where you’re meant to go in life. If you listen to other people, if you live your life trying to impress other people or get other people’s approval, you’re just going to be led astray and you’re not going to feel happy and fulfilled.
The second shift that changed my life is I started to discover and nurture my own gifts, strengths, and talents. I felt like I didn’t really know myself that well before I was in my early twenties. I just kind of went about life and some things I might’ve been good at, like writing, but I never really took the time to really understand myself and reflect and recognize what I’m good at.
What personality quirks do I have? Why do people like being around me? I didn’t recognize the talents and the gifts that I had, and when I didn’t know what I was meant to do in life, that’s what I really had to search to figure out
who I am,
what I’m good at,
what I love to do.
And that journey in just exploring all these different things that I was curious about or interested in, that journey led me to really understand myself, where my strengths lie. And once you understand where your strengths and gifts and talents lie, that’s kind of like your toolkit. That’s what you use to create your dream life because that is your best chance to create value in the world, meaning it’s your best chance for maybe a career path or a life path.
It’s your best chance to feeling fulfilled along the way, because you feel happy and fulfilled when you’re doing things that you’re good at and things that you love doing. So if you don’t know what those are for you yet, that’s totally okay.
I simply suggest you go out and find it, to have the courage to go out and explore, try new things, figure out what you’re good at. Maybe ask the people around you what’s unique about you.
What are your strengths?
What do they think you have about you that is special, that is different from others?
Because we all have things that make us unique and knowing that is our power.The third self love shift that changed my life for real is being gentle on myself,learning not to be so hard on myself,because I was a person that always put such high expectations and pressures on myself –obviously a trickle-down from the expectations my parents put on me, but it just became my own voice that I would push myself to succeed.
I would push myself and I would suffer because of it. I would never feel good enough. And I would be a perfectionist. And with everything that I created, it just never felt perfect. It never felt right. And I just didn’t feel good about it. Or I just felt like it was a struggle through all my journeys, because I was hard on myself for the little mistakes or failures that I might’ve made along the way. The mindset shift that hugely changed my life was learning to give more love to myself and recognizing that if you love yourself –if you love a person, you’re not going to be so hard on them.
You’re going to just naturally gently support them. And if they make a mistake or if they fail, that’s okay, it’s a part of life. So it just allows you to be more accepting of yourself. Once you give yourself love, you accept yourself, everything is more okay.
Nothing is the end of the world. Life will go on and you’re just less stressed that way. There’s less of a pressure and less burden than if you were to be hard on yourself and be super perfectionist about everything.